Of Muttonchops and Commentary…

…but first:

Those who’ve traveled to the SKIF knit-a-long blog might be aware of certain unfortunate “events” that took place while I was knitting Zena (Warrior Princess).
(check out the button somewhere over there)

These events centered around my inability to count, as well as my sieve-like memory. At some point in knitting the body, I decided to add a little waist shaping. (Because I can’t just leave well enough alone.)

Anyway, I decreased a few stitches at each side. (Unevenly mind you. I have no control over when the sieve will just let a plan fall right outta my head.) When I went to create the neck shaping, I was missing a few stitches…

While I don’t mind retelling a story, I think the flavor of my mood at the time I discovered (remembered) the “event” is best expressed here.

Go on, read. Laugh. Feel the full-throttle-ness of having a mind like a rusted-steel trap.

I survived the scare with a bit of retail therapy. Some new Habu just followed me home like a stray as well. Here it is (the amethyst color) just to the right of the light lavender color in the center:


I’ve passed the 50% finished mark and I’ve tried the sweater on whilst on the needles. Happily, I can report that all is well. The bust should fit just fine even though it is a few stitches narrower than it should be. I decided for such an oversize sweater it was okay to sport more of a “Jane Mansfield” fit, (or Jane Russell, or Marilyn Monroe).

———–

Now for the tie-in to the title of this post. (In the interest of those with sensitive constitutions, no knitting or person was harmed in this event)

In former posts, I’ve mentioned a dear former co-worker “K-Dawg” and of her predilection to drinking while writing (well deserved mind you). While she was in town she, “Flower child” (her sister), and I met for a pint at a favorite watering hole where we also purchased tokens and promotional mugs for a blessed Stumptown event. As we were walking from the pub to grab a late night bite, K-Dawg stops to chat with a former co-worker (“The Man”) as her sister and I continue.

As we were walking a stranger asks us for change and when we denied him, he attempted to rob us of our promotional mug bag.

Now there are a few things to note when attempting to rob someone:

A number 1) Make sure the person you are trying to knockdown is not built like a Cadillac Coup’deville (important that).
B number 2) Do not mess with a knitter. (Hey dude, didn’t you see the set of 10½ double points in my hair???)
C number 3) Do not mess with a black woman. We don’t play.

I’m pretty sure our attacker realized this because he stopped momentarily to assess the situation. This brief pause gave “The Man” just enough time to catch up and come to our aid. (If you’ve never seen a Bostonian go “Southy” on someone you are missing out).

As our attacker was being held at bay “K-dawg” and “Flower Child” were glued to their cell phones, talking to emergency services. These are sample sentences from the ordeal:

K-Dawg: “The perpetrator is about 5’6″ wearing a beige baseball cap. He has blond hair but darker facial hair. He has muttonchops. He is wearing a gray raglan sleeved sweatshirt….”

Flower Child: “…and now he is running across the street. (pause as she hears K-dawg’s raglan sleeve comment) My sister is on the phone with you right now as well. She’s actually giving you a thorough description, while I’m only giving you commentary…”

All ended well. The mugs were shattered but the knitting and needles remained unmolested. The authorities came promptly and arrested our attacker. None of the ladies were hurt. “The Man” sported just enough of a black-eye for bragging-rights but is okay other than that. In the interest of quelling fears about walking through the streets of Portland at night or of street people in general. Our city is just as safe (or safer) than any other city in the US. Our attacker was not a local. While that is neither here nor there, it was chance that brought us in his path and I am happy the episode ended well here in Portland rather than badly anywhere else.

The post Of Muttonchops and Commentary… appeared first on Knit Purl Blog.

July 18, 2008 by Sara M
Tags: Portland
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